The Art of Discipline

Ellie’s first ballet exam

I have the joy of watching my two daughters get dressed, and run off to ballet three times a week. As I watch my girls train in ballet versus any other activity, I often reflect on the gift ballet has given me. Discipline. Yes there are many others I loved growing up like being able to turn on my tippy toes 🩰 and have people in awe, but discipline is perhaps what I’m most grateful for as an adult. Funny, it’s perhaps the same reason people hate and quit ballet so often as I wished I had done many times.

This discipline ensures that you are on time. That you are always respectful to your teacher, the pianist, your fellow dancers or anyone else that may be in the room - it’s why we begin and end with curtsies EVERY class. You are mindful of your spacing, that you don’t hurt anyone else or yourself as you move through the room. That you execute each exercise, starting well, finishing well, and doing your very best in between EVERY time, with repetition for weeks, months, YEARS, still going back to the basics no matter how professional you’ve become. You’re trained to pay great attention to every small detail when learning; which exact angle you place a body part, what fraction of a second in timing to move at and then gladly wait for and take correction as you acknowledge it only makes you better. Then you build such amazing strength and flexibility over time not even recognizing it because it’s so gradual over time. And the final outcome, to perform and amaze others, moving gracefully, making it seem like it doesn’t require any effort. The art of discipline.

All of this, yet when I see the word “discipline” in scripture, I only equate it to punishment, fear of punishment, inconvenience, shame and disdain.

I think I’m currently going through a season of discipline in life and motherhood by facing hardship that is unusual to me. As I go through endless, exhausting chores alone, being creative in calming tantrums, cooking meals that are highly likely to be scorned, and then there’s homeschooling and training these kids through moment by moment reaction to everything and everyone around them-alone. It really feels like I’m being stretched in patience and kindness, goodness and faithfulness, endurance and long suffering, but what it feels like is exhaustion, loneliness, frustration- like I’m at the end of myself.

Deuteronomy 8:5

“Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you.”

I think of giving a good ole spanking 💥🍑 or you may imagine a well placed “time out” if you’re into that kind of style gentle parenting🤭. Then I somehow translated this through God giving me a fine spanking through hard circumstances I have no control over, or having to wait longer than I want for something I want to come as my quiet “time out”.

But if I go just going a few verses before

“The whole commandment that I command you today you shall be careful to do, that you may live and multiply, and go in and possess the land that the Lord swore to give to your fathers. And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. Your clothing did not wear out on you and your foot did not swell these forty years.”

‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭8‬:‭1‬-‭4‬ ‭ESV‬

I can see how this Father led and walked with His children through 40 hard years in the desert, giving instructions along the way, feeding them when hungry and ensuring they’re clothed. There’s tender love and care spewing through these verses. He wants them to look to Him first and rely on Him entirely.

Hebrews 12:7-11 encourages us to endure hardship as discipline. That this discipline though unpleasant is for our good, producing righteousness and peace for those who have been trained.

Initially and for a moment, I wondered what I’ve done to deserve this season I’m in. But I’m starting to see, like ballet, it isn’t a punishment, but a beautiful training process. Training my mind how to think and perceive hard things and my body in how to respond to difficulties- to look to Him and rely on Him entirely. It’s challenging, yet not impossible, harder/easier at various times and days. The outcome, like ballet showcasing a beautiful work of art- Grace. I’m realizing this is slow, daily growth… for my good.

Where I believe I know the outcome of disciplining my children will have on them responsible, well mannered, educated and successful adults, I’m uncertain and wonder what’s the impact this current discipline I’m going through will have on me in the future. How will I be so drastically different from what I am now? What will I have to endure in the future that’s so hard, that I have to go through this now to have grace for that then? I surely won’t attempt to guess or imagine, but hold on to the promise that it is for my good and in truth an act of love.

“Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.”

‭‭Revelation‬ ‭3‬:‭19‬ ‭ESV‬‬

My prayer is that I won’t despise and avoid it as many (including myself) have done with ballet. Instead, I will appreciate not just the final product(ion), but find joy in the daily training, building strength along the way and looking forward to the corrections at the end of each exercise. That I can hear the classical music of laughter in my home and not miss it as I’m so focused on what moves comes next. Giving thanks for the days when it’s easier and I’m able to execute with what feels like less effort. Learning the technique along with the details and intricacies of what ought to be according to the Word. But mostly, delighting in the art… of life and motherhood.

Whatever you’re facing in hardship today, whether patience and kindness and endurance and long suffering like me, or perhaps it’s in being joyful, or gentle and self controlled, whatever it is, may you value discipline not as a punishment but as an act of love through training.

Grace and Peace 🫶🏾🌸